When giving up becomes an option...

  Pacing the floors on a blustery evening, boredom getting the best of me. Pissed about the cold. Pissed about politics. Pissed about being pissed about cold and politics. Gotta get outta the house.

  The past couple of days I drove past a place called Humperdinks. The sign says "Sports Bar" and "Home of the Nacho Fries"... Nacho fries? Bet yer ass I'm gonna try that.

  Already getting stoked about a new and "exotic" item to eat, I feel my mood lighten considerably. Nod to myself and think "See, you're just not a domesticated animal."  Feels good to be on the prowl.

 The bar was dark. Expansive. Not too loud. Had a hint of tobacco smoke and urinal cake upon entering.
Not a big crowd, but a few smaller crowds tucked into the corners. The bar top was empty. Dude behind the bar in his mid twenties watching ESPN, waiting for a customer.

  Pull up a chair and order my standard domestic brew. Being ever so engaging I try to spark a conversation with the bar keep. He's an idiot. A dumb jock type who was cool in high school yet never learned anything outside of first and tens. This is an uncomfortable position for me, usually you can count on the tender to keep you company while you take down the first few, alone. Not so in this situation.

  So as we silently watch the reruns of Sportscenter together, I'm missing my wingman, Rex. Rex was a "Helluvatime". Simply one of the greatest humans to walk the earth. Many of those miles he walked, we walked together. Rex had a thing for Tequila. I hate Tequila. So for memories sake I tell the keep to give me two shots. One with salt, one with out. Salts for me, Rex didn't need the salt. I take the saltless down and struggle. Lime. Compose myself. Salted next. Lime. In serious trouble of exiting the 12 dollars worth of Tequila I just ingested, I breathe deep. Exhale slowly... Compose myself... Need a smoke.

  I get off my stool and put on my jacket. Bartender is confused and starts to ring me up.  I say "No no, im just stepping out for a smoke." He says "You can smoke in here." I counter with, "Do you Smoke?"  "NO!" with a disgusted look he tells me. "Good for you, I'm doing you a favor." Confusion is written across his face like a name tag. Before I step outside I order up some of them "Nacho Fries". He informs me that the kitchen is closed... You're shittin me right? Not to worry, I'll be right back I tell him.

  Outside in frigid air, watching the traffic go by, I hate this place. Considering heading home after a listless beginning to this evening, I decide to plot my next move from inside. Decisions are better made while comfortably warm.

  Coming back inside, dead set on leaving. I see a pair of blondes shooting pool. Renewed interest in this place in an instant. Where were these two when I showed up? Never mind that, I wasn't looking for a reason other than "Nacho Fries" to be here when I first arrived. Its an easy miss.

  Back to the bar for a refill, beer only this time. I start in on the "How do I approach these to ladies correctly" march. It's always a tough call. Regardless of attraction, if they want to be left alone, or play that card, you're advances will be seen as a nuisance.

  I lead in with the "Hey wow! You're pretty good!" bullshit. Total sarcasm behind my tone. They catch it and laugh along.
  They're nice. Funny and one is quite attractive. This is going well so I offer to buy drinks. Tequila all around! (For you Rex) No struggle with my shot, they enjoyed theirs.

 They feel the need to hit the jukebox. My request for some Dwight Yoakam is met with laughter. I was serious... So they weren't into country, no big deal. Lil Wayne it is, mixed in with some other shit I've never heard... Feeling dated at this point, I try to remember when the last time I had watched MTV was? Couldn't... Do people still watch MTV? I don't know these answers. Fuck it.

  My turn to rack, I proceed in telling these ladies I'm terrible at pool. Which is true. I make up reasons like "I'm too tall to play pool." and "I was terrible at geometry." Laughter again. Confidence in your short comings is never a bad thing.

  Blasting balls around the table, more drinks and more terrible music, I'm really enjoying myself until... She walks in...

  Now She, is gonna take a little bit of back story to explain......

  Last spring when I first arrived here in the DFW I was bouncing around, as far as different areas of the metroplex. Uptown, Downtown and the Outskirts. I found myself heading back to the outskirts more and more. The suburb was called Sachse. A couple of bars that were suited toward the "biker" crowd around here. I felt akin to the place because there were dirtbags everywhere. I get along with dirtbags really well.

  I became friends with the owner of the best bar out there. She's funny, got a lot of money but woefully unattractive. Not that I'm quick to judge or place myself on a pedestal, but I wouldn't have had sexual relations with this woman on my worst day. Knowing damn well that if I did, I would sink even lower in my own self pity and consider punching my own ticket...

  With that said, our friendship continues to prosper. I'm invited to events that she puts on, such as the "White Trash Beer Bash". And one of my favorites, the "Trash Can Punch". I'm making friends quick, and she just so happens to be friends with a redheaded 6 footer that I'd love to get filthy with. All of that aside.

  Late one evening she sends me a text. Too drunk to drive and needs a ride. No problem, a friend needs my assistance, I'm there.

 Pick her up from her own bar and she wants to head to another... I'm reluctant at first but she tells me the 6 footer will be there. Sold.

  We show up at the bar, everyone she usually hangsout with is there. The short version of her crowd is 2 douche bags, a skank and a hot chick.  The hot chick is the 6 footer.

  The bar we went to is awesome. Its early summer by this point and hot as hell still at 12am. We're on a patio type area that had fans and a misting spray engulfing us. Conversation is good and everyone is having fun.

  Out of my normal routine I keep it conservative, two beers and a shot. I've got to work the next day and need to be on site at sunrise. "She" is wasted. The bar is closing and our waiter comes around with the ticket. "She" tosses it towards me, I read it, 112 dollars... I toss it back. I simply tell her I'm not buying all these drinks. She's instantly pissed. 2 douche bags and a skank give me questioning stares... Hot chick falls in rank and asks me why I'm not gonna pay... Is the fix in? Am I being duped? I think so. I politely tell them to "fuck off" buy their own goddamn drinks and get up to leave.

  She comes up quick with her card, pays for everyone else and the scene is just awkward... The "friends" I've been making are no "friends" at all.

  The double douche bags, skank and a hot chick file out quickly. I'm stuck with "She" and a ride home that I dread providing.

  No words are uttered heading to her house, which is gigantic. Bitch is rich... "She" is, by all accounts passed out. Shaking my head, feeling sorry for myself I have to peel her out of my truck and damn near carry her into her house. Once we breach the doorway, "She" comes alive! Starts tearing at my clothing, grabbing all over, telling me "She sees the look in my eyes!"... What fucking look?!!!I'm literally fighting for my life and or dignity. I'm hand slapping her hands off of me while trying to make a break for the door.

  Bitch is big. Like real big. Has a hold of me and isn't letting go. Suddenly, in my fury of hand slaps she tackles me to the couch.. Having been a wrestler in school, instinct kicked in. I'm going down, shits getting real, as soon as my back hits the couch I roll to my right and "She" is dumped to the floor.

 I spring up off the floor with my dignity clutched close to my chest and run! I'm running back to my truck, a thousand thoughts racing through my head... WHY! WHY! I keep asking myself... Everything was golden. Making new friends, hot chick in the crowd... Attempted clowning at the bar, and now this...

 Having successfully eluded the rapey bar owner, driving like a felon in a stolen car I hit the freeway. Calming down, the weight of the events crushing down around me. I'm overwhelmed. Cant fucking believe that just happened... To top it off, I'm heading northbound and a wicked thunderstorm is on the horizon. Wicked lightning strikes dance across the sky. So fitting. Leave an utter disaster, just to drive right towards another...

  Back story summed up...

  Two douche bags bring up the rear, proceeded by the skank and the hot chick. Her whole crew.

  Panic. We make eye contact and immediately "She" charges my way. You mother fucker! this and that. You stuck me with your tab! blah blah blah. You got me drunk and tried to FUCK me!

  Oh no she didn't.

  Never being one for a loss of words, nor being ill-equipped to defend myself, I'm completely and utterly speechless. I look to the two blonds Ive been mingling with they're giving me their unabated looks of disgust.

  Can you blame them? Crazy ugly just roles in and owns the dude who was trying to get to know them?

  Ouch. Ruthless. Total bitch.

  In what seemed like one motion, I grab for my wallet and throw the tender a fifty. No change needed, for I'm redefining "B Line" for the door.

  Son of bitch! Once again, the felon in a stolen car, I'm on the freeway. Northbound. No thunderstorm to speak of but goddammit.

  A metropolis of almost 7 million people. A good 30 miles away from her bar. Just wanting these "Nacho Fries"... Such is my luck.


 

Not so Super Market

  Being dangerously low on food and beer, a supermarket run was needed. Just so you know, I HATE the super market. No one single reason I can put my finger on. I think it's just the whole routine of politely shopping around the people in your way. Watching the screaming kids banter back and forth while their mother somehow ignores them. The conversations over heard between couples. It all drives me nuts. I want to be in and out. No b.s. Food. Check. Beer. Check. I'm out. Never really works out that way.
  This last trip I took was going remarkably well. Had almost all my items in under ten minutes. I needed grapes and peas and I was done.
  Feeling good about getting out of there, heading for the produce, I'm met by the most hateful look I've seen since coming to Texas. And I've seen a quite few. The look came from a small Middle Eastern man. He was in his traditional garb that led me to believe he was Muslim of some variant. Instantly on the offensive, I have to glare back. Towering about a foot over this guy, and probably having a hundred pounds on him, I assume I can smash him.
  In an instant he heads down the next available aisle and I carry on towards the produce. Anger subsides to confusion as I wonder WTF could I have done to warrant this hateful look. Whatever. I found the grapes, need peas and I'm out.
  I checked out uneventfully, didn't see the angry Arab again. Headed to my pick up. Loading the groceries into the back of my truck I glance down and see that I'm wearing one of my favorite shirts and realize what the angry mans problem was.
  The shirt that I have on pays homage to my family's Jewish roots. Its a simple blue T with the star of David and a Superman emblem in the middle. SuperJew if you will. Now I see why he felt the need to mean mug me.... Fucking racist.

Palin Project 09!

   GREAT NEWS! The one and only Sarah "Barracuda" Palin will be coming to my neighborhood! That's right folks the infamous "Going Rogue" book tour is heading for Dallas! I will have the opportunity to get my very own copy of  Going Rogue personally signed by Mizz Mavericky herself!


OR.....


I can go rogue and cause a HUGE distraction for what I'm sure will be a well recieved get together for the gun toting hockey moms of the north Dallas area...

Believe it or not, I'm opting for door number 2.

Now, what would be the best plan of attack? I've already ruled out bomb threat. Seeings how that's a federal offense and would cost me precious years of my life... I thought about taking a play from the angry GOP's playbook and show up armed... That could get me shot here in the Great State of Texas. No thanks.
The only real plausible idea I have is to use the Texan pride. It is quite impressive. It's an all go, no quit kind of attitude that has zero tolerance for likes of any weak hearted types. So my idea, in rough form will be to stand in front of Legacy Books and simply wear a sign that reads. "TEXANS HATE QUITTERS".  As we all know Sarah Barracuda quit just over halfway through her first term as Governor of the shithole known as Alaska... The Texan populace would agree and be torn between their beloved maverick and the facts. Should get interesting.

I have til December 4th to come up with the master plan. Any and all advice on how to make this more awesome would be much appreciated. Wish me luck. 

Race card? I say race baiting.

  So recently in the media there has been a lot of talk about how the opposition to our President is racially motivated. We have our nations first black President. He has a progressive agenda. The Republicans are in a deep minority. This seems like cause and effect to me.

  Now we all know what the Republican party was known best for throughout the Bush administration. Fear mongering. Conjuring up a fear of the "Could happen" to pass legaslation. "We have to give corporations welfare to ensure they can still afford to employ our constituents", "We have to pass the the Patriot Act to ensure no terrorist cells can exist in America", and lets not forget "We have to invade Iraq because they have WMD's that theaten our freedom".  All. Bull. Shit.

  The playbook hasn't changed folks. The same fear of what "could happen" is being used to stop or slow the progressive agenda that the public voted in to office.

  I do not see this type of political pandering as racist. I see it as survivalist.

  This is the only way Republicans know how to try and keep their campaign contributions flowing in. Stand up against whats best for the people by convincing the people they're being robbed of their "Freedoms".

  Being told by your elected official that your constitutional rights are being infringed upon is a scary thing. These people that buy into it have a legitimate right to be afraid. They trust these politicians. They look to them for comfort, for strength. In return they're lied to with corporate talking points, drummed up with only one aspect in mind. Save the corporation money.

  With the fear of "privileges" being stolen away, the media steps in and stokes the flames. "Is it a race issue?" they say... Well, it is now.

  What the media has done is taken away the legitimate argument and replaced it with a black and white issue.
I'm not going to deny the heavy racial undertones that dominate the lunatic right wing fringe. It's there, and a growing threat. But! This is classic a "Taking your eye off the ball" situation. This is exactly what the Republicans want. The rest of the country debating whether it's a race issue or not, while real progressive legislation gets swept under the rug.

  Lets not, as a nation, get swept up in a race debate. Lets keep the issues on the table and try to bring about real reform. "Change we can believe in" was the mantra. And it still is.

  With a heavily lopsided majority in Congress these goals of the X, XY and Y generations are still achievable. Keep in mind that the under 35 crowd got out and voted in our President. We of these "jilted" generations are on the front lines in this battle to secure "our" best interests. Not only for us but your kids, or your kids to be. We have an obligation to our future generations to uphold. Our preceding generation did not do it for us. So lets take a history lesson and do the right thing.

  Tell your friends, your family, your employer that you're above the racial divide. Tell anyone who will listen that security comes from peace of mind, not partisan politics. This is America. Your voice and vote are bigger than any special interest group or politician. Stand up and speak out for what you know is right. Speak out for what you want! Speak out for the people who are afraid to!

  We need to take care of each other. Stand beside one another. Not as Republicans or Democrats. Not as Black, white, yellow or red. But as citizens of this, the richest nation of all history. The nation of rights and well being. The Nation of hope and opportunity. The nation of rational thought and decision... The United States of America. Our home sweet home.


 

Freedom from Religion.

 Its a terribly sad time here in the "Great State of Texas". As of this school year it is required that ALL school districts implement the bible in their curriculum. That's right, required.

 Now I fully understand that the bible means everything to some and I'm fine with that. That's your choice and you have the freedom to practice whatever religion you wish. So long as it abides by local and federal laws. I.e. Separation of church and state, no human sacrifices and so on.

 First I'd like to lay down some statistics for the area I live in. Plano, Tx Plano, is roughly 65 percent white folks, most of them your standard christian of some variant.  Another 6% are Latino, 4% black. You can group them into some christian group as well. From there the lines get really blurry. Plano being an international hub for the tech industry, brings in people from all over the world. For instance, there are said to be 95 spoken languages in Plano alone. 95! How many of you even knew there was that many languages? Not me. So it goes without saying that there are many different religions that follow those many different cultures.

 Most of these families that came here to America have children in school. Out of the 65,000 kids in the Plano ISD, only 60 percent of them are to be considered of christian faith. So what that means is just under 30,000 kids will be forced to be indoctrinated with the christian religion in Plano alone! It's not like these kids are godless or without faith. There is a heavy Muslim presence in this community as well as Hindu, Buddihst and lets not leave out my favorites, the Jews.

 "Whats the big deal?"  "Jesus Christ saved my life!"  "Everyone should be converted to Christ!"
Battle cries from the idiots that surround me. These statements coming from the same people that didn't want their children to hear a black president speak of achieving higher education by staying in school. The same group of people who call a Liberal House and Senate Socialist and Communist, all for wanting to provide these low income Foxophiles with affordable heath coverage. Damn them for wanting to heal the sick!

 They're missing the point. America is about freedom. The same freedom to practice their religion is the same freedom they're infringing upon. By forcing students to read from and be graded upon their definition of the christian faith, they are in direct violation of Separation between Church and State laws. With that said, I think that the Supreme Court needs to step in to protect our citizens rights and put a stop to this. Keep in mind this is a public school system I'm speaking of. Funded by federal dollars and subject to the same principles of our Constitution. If they are non-compliant, then they should lose all federal funding.

 Harsh punishment? I don't think so. Simply ask yourself this. If your children were required to read from the Koran everyday in school, how would you feel? It's no different. This is not a nation founded on christian fundamentals. It's a nation founded on individual freedoms. Freedom of speech, the right to bare arms, freedom of religion... Freedom of religion is and should always be given the same respect as freedom from religion. In our society it is illegal for a government run institution to force any ideological beliefs upon any citizen. With that in mind...

I'll leave you with this.

The government of the United States is in no sense founded on the Christian Religion.” ~ George Washington

"This would be the best of all possible worlds, if there were no religion in it." ~ John Adams

“I do not find in Christianity one redeeming feature. Religions are all alike – founded upon fables and mythologies.” ~ Thomas Jefferson

“The Bible is not my book, nor Christianity my religion.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

“A just government has no need for the clergy or the church. Religious bondage shackles and debilitates the mind and unfits it for every noble enterprise.” ~ James Madison

"I have seldom met an intelligent person whose views were not narrowed and distorted by religion." ~ James Buchanan

"I do not believe in the divinity of Christ, and there are many other of the postulates of the orthodox creed to which I cannot subscribe." ~ William Howard Taft


Our Founding Fathers.

Still suffering from the punch seen round the world, I decide home base will not do on a cool north Texas evening. By cool I mean not sweltering. The temps when I left the house were 78 and dropping. Low of 66 expected. I'm good with that.

As I head west, my destination is clear. I'm heading back to a bar that I'm slowly falling in love with. It's an upscale sports bar in a real "trendy" part of Plano. Lots of new developement, high end apts, mediocre condos and an obscene amount of shopping surrounds. Not to mention a bevy of attractive women in search of a cosmo after a hard day of indebting their credit cards.

Bartender greets me with a smile, and asks what I'll be having. Beer and a shot I say, as a test to see if she remembers me. No hesitation, she comes through with a Bud (draught) and double shot of Jager for the old school. She remembers me. A healthy tip goes a long way with the service industry.

Impressed with her memory I attempt to ask about her day but I'm cut off quick. "Nice spread option" she says.  A simple grin crowns her as victorious. Not only does she recall my flavor of demons, she remembers my team. A true professional in a whirlwind of people she tends to every shift.

My non-evasive eye roll and sigh of defeat is mine to own and she knows it. I like this girl.

As she briskly walks away to the next mark wanting a drink, I settle into my own. With the one and only goal of a healthy alcohol buzz, I drink.

Alone at the bar, no friends in tow. I survey the screens for any games I'm interested in to pass the time.

Sensing my boredom she comes back around to engage me.

She knows why I'm here.

The week prior I met a friend of hers at this very bar.

Long story short, I was enjoying a few too many.

A tornado of a woman came in to the bar with a similar goal in mind.

Pound a few drinks and let the days worries reside.

After a few heated exchanges about politics, sports and lifes lessons. We hit it off.

Her name was Dallas. From Dallas.

Attraction busting at the seams we set out on what would be the wildest night I've spent in Dallas. I'll spare you from the details of the elicit drugs, hungry embraces and poor decisions of the night. But I will tell you this, she was Rock n Roll. And I liked it.

Hungry for a second serving of that woman, I dare ask where she is... "She's at home with her boyfriend"...

With a nod a smirk, I can tell my tender knows the back story. She retains my eye contact for a second.

"She'll be back this coming... "

I hold up my hand before she can finish.

It's not a big deal.

She questions me with her eyes.

Mine gave her, her answer... 


 After watching quality in action I wasnt in search of the party known as Dallas, from Dallas. I was interested in the girl who remembered my drink. And my team. She is a professional.

She'll bring me back.

On my drive back, I had a song stuck in my head for Dallas, from Dallas... Dirty Girl..

Martini bars and bootleg shoes.

I've always been a sucker for a professional woman in business casual attire. Educated, driven and almost always up for a good conversation. It really helps when they're smokin hot too.

Last night I drove aimlessly towards the business district in Plano. Searching out a new and exciting place to meet these professional types. Nearing the Nationwide insurance headquarters I see a nice little place that looked a little out of my league. Perfect. As I walk through the doors I'm immediately impressed by the men to women ratio. About 50-50. That's rare in a bar scene.

Wearing a a dark green shirt that reads "AUTZEN" across the chest, khaki shorts and my trusty flip-flops I head to the bar. Drawing glares and looks of disgust from the corporate douche bags who bathed in cologne before arriving. I shrug'em off. Not here for douche bags. At the bar I try to order a Budweiser. Draught please. "We dont serve that here" says the angry little man behind the bar. Ofcourse not. I settle on a Stella.

To my right is a group of women in their 30's maybe early 40's. After establishing direct eye contact I initiate the pleasantries, "Hi ladies" "How is your evening" and so on. They appear to be intrigued by the large male that hasn't shaved in a week and looks like he could have been doing yard work prior to his arrival. After establishing that I may only look like a Neanderthal, we set in on what would be an hour and half of massive booze consumption, funny stories and ideas. Knowing that my reluctance to leave the side of beautiful women and laughter has been the cause of serious ramifications in the past. Not only with what might be considered a sin by some but also with the local police. They tend frown upon driving shitfaced. I understand, and agree. So I leave. Walking back toward the door I'm met with even more glares from the cologne drinkers but with a sense of a small victory, I return their scornful looks back to them. The "Dude"-1 Corporate douche bags-0.

 Lightly buzzed and feeling good about an evening well spent, I head to my truck. Sitting outside in the back of a black Cadillac Escalade is a nice African American gentleman that looks like he should be in a rap video. Curiosity has almost been the death of this cat on quite a few occasions, so I have to stop and see what he's up to. "Yous need sum shoes man?" The rapper says to me. I could always use some shoes I say, but I bet you dont have my size. You see I have a large foot, rapper, I doubt you've really got "what I need". Just for sport I tell him my size. He disappears through one of the side doors digging around in what was an astonishing assortment of shoes in varies diffent sizes. He resurfaces holding in his hand a spankin new pair of white Addidas. Size 16. Impressive rapper. He wants 40, I offer 20. "Deal!" Says the rapper.

New shoes in tow, I head back to the 'burbs. Thinking to myself, is this a place I can frequent? The shock value of being dreadfully under dressed wont have the same effect week in and week out. Ive got the clothing to look the part, but its goddamn hot here in Texas. Maybe this winter when it gets cold for a month, I'll go back. Until then, there's hundreds of different locations to try and millions of women to meet. Life is only as dull as you make it.

Introduction

I decided to start this blog so I could detail the daily oddities I run into here In the Dallas-Ft.Worth area. This is an amazing metroplex that blows my mind every day. Moving from Eugene Oregon to Dallas Texas, was an adventure in its self. Trying to establish a friend base and build my company has so far been a trying experience.  I'll utilize this page to vent my frustrations and happiness for you to enjoy.